Today’s Tip

Published April 6, 2021

Being a supportive parent means having your child’s best interests at heart but also being present, involved, and helpful. It includes:

• actively encouraging them to do their best with school, their hobbies, and interests

• listening without judgment and seeking to understand their concerns and challenges

• acknowledging their achievements and supporting them through mistakes and challenges

• setting consistent expectations and consequences to help them to feel secure and able to predict outcomes

• treating them fairly and developing a trusting relationship.

The influence that you have over your child is more dependent on a trusting relationship than it is on how much authority you dish out and how many lectures you give. It may feel like they’re trying to push you away, but they’re actually trying to push themselves away from you to choose a direction in life, and to shape an identity for themselves as a separate, independent person.

Love, support, trust, and optimism from their family make them feel safe and secure and are powerful weapons against peer pressure, life’s challenges, and disappointments.

Your aim is to keep your child safe and to give them the foundations they need to do their best. At a minimum they need:

• to know they are loved for who they are, and that you are always there to support them

• an environment where basic needs such as a safe and healthy place to live, healthy food, and school supplies are made a priority

• protection and support to keep themselves safe from mental and physical abuse

• respect for their feelings and concerns

• acknowledgement of their milestones and achievements such as birthdays or first day at school

• respect for their friends, clothing, sports and music choices, and interests.

Suffering In Silence

October 21, 2019

Men are taught to suffer in silence, and as a result, relationships are failing all across the world. This is an edited clip of my time on the Mel Robbins Show—we tag team trauma to help a husband break free from emotional incarceration and save his marriage!