The Lack of Sexual Self Control
Now Davidโs son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her. Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill.
– 2 Samuel 13:1-2
Many of us men have become so obsessed with the “freedom” of being promiscuous, that we willingly allow our evil desires to birth desperate actions in order to acquire โthe loveโ of a woman we cannotย have. As a result, like Amnon, we eventually become mentally and spiritually ill. And as you’ll read, when our deceptive charm failsย to get what we desire, we use demonstrative force and turn our sisters into victims.
Since Amnon was stronger than Tamar, he raped her.ย Then suddenly Amnonโs love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved herโฆ He shouted for his servant and demanded, โThrow this woman out, and lockingย the door behind her!โ – 2 Samuel 13:15-16
Sounds familiar? Well unfortunately it is. In 1995, theย number one killer of African-American females, ages 15 to 34, was homicide at the hands of an intimate partner or ex-partner.* African-American womenย comprise 8% of the U.S. population, but account for 20% of the intimate partner homicide victims.* Every 2 minutes, a womanย in the U.S. is sexually assaulted, and 1 in 4 women willย experience sexual assault or rape during her time at college. The survivors of sexual assault are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, 6ย times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, 26 times more likely to abuse drugs, and 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide. When we couple the previously mentioned with the fact that in 2002,ย 72% of black children were raised in a single parent household*, we should all agree that the lack of sexual self control needs to be seriously addressed if our families and communities are to thrive! Lastly I’d like to point out that after Amnon raped Tamar, it is written that his love for her “suddenly turned to hate.” This confirms that Amnon never loved Tamar, but instead deeply desired her as an object for sex. This is called sexual objectification. We also see the spirit of misogyny in Amnon when he refers to Tamar as “this woman” when he had his servant throw her out. Amnon’s last action of “locking the door” behind Tamar is still happening today in the black community. Males are allowed to dismiss their evil actions and walk away from accountability (sexual assault) and responsibility (fathering a child). We especially see this evil thrive in sports entertainment.
Tamar was wearing a long, beautiful robe, as was the custom in those days for the kingโs virgin daughters. But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying. – 2 Samuel 13:15-17
Tamar tearing her clothes represented mourning and loss. The ashes on Tamarโs head was an outward sign of internal sorrow and distress. Lastly, Tamar laying her face in her hands and crying, represented shame. Sound familiar? As a whole, we, the โleaders of the village”, have subconsciously thrown our sisters out and locked the door behind them, and our children. Because we wonโt open the door, single mothers will continue to experience the loss of a son from gang violence. Because we wonโt open the door, single mothers will have to endure the sorrow of seeing children long for their absent father. Because we wonโt open the door, our single sisters will continue to walk away in shame crying from being shamedย by us.
Itโs unequivocally hypocritical to practice aย promiscuous lifestyle and be โpro blackโ. My brothers, mentors and leaders; how can we build what we desperately need (a strong black community), when we as a whole are not actively confronting the lack of sexual self control in our boys and men? It truly bafflesย me that promiscuityย is a topic rarely discussed at a youth/men’s retreat or conference. If we continue to ignore thisย evil behavior, and not openly exposeย the elephant in the room, our children will never see the black man as a protector, but a Lothario, in and out of their motherโs legs and life. My brothers, our unified presence is long overdue. However, before we can “open the door” that leads to the restoration of our homes and communities, we must first humble ourselves, repent for the evil we that have done and allowed, and pray for forgiveness.ย Then when we open the door, we must turn from the evil ways that caused us to shut the door on our sisters in the first place. Then, through the healing of the LORD, our communities will be restored (2 Chronicles 7:14).
Shalom Aleichem,
Jason Wilson
Founder/CEO
The Cave of Adullam Transformational Training Academy
* Bureau of Health Statistics, 1995; Sullivan and Rumptz, 1995
* The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development
*ย U.S Department of Justice: Bureau of Justice Statistics.
“SKIT UP KIDS”
Ending the week with a #FridayFunny! ๐คฃ Parents, as we are in Homecoming season and in the midst of fall sports season, chime in if you can relate! ๐ฅ: @robertwilliamsfilms “SKIT UP KIDS” A parody of @gangstarr song “JUST TO GET A REP” #teenagerstyle #teenagermemes…
Read MoreIt’s Throwback Thursday!
It’s #ThrowbackThursday! ๐ So, here is a video from our SWAG (Students With Awareness & Goals) Life Skills & Prevention Program. Students from NOVA Discipline Academy shared their experience with the program and how it benefited them. ๐ Take a listen to their stories! If…
Read MoreAlmost All Young People See Bullying Happen at Some Point
๐๐ข๐ ๐๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐ง๐จ๐ฐโฆ? โฃ โฃ Almost all kids see bullying happen at some point. They may not be getting bullied nor the ones doing the bullying, but witnesses are just as important. Their reactions can have a direct impact on the situation.โฃ โฃ A bystander…
Read MoreBullying Prevention Film โSticks & Stonesโ
As we are nearing the end of October, which is Bullying Awareness month, it was only right for us to premiere our Bullying Prevention film โSticks & Stonesโ. Here is a highlight from our premiere, where we showed the film and had a panel to…
Read MoreSticks and Stones Film Premiere!
Thank you to everyone who came out to the Sticks and Stones film premiere! We had an amazing time and are so glad to have shared this moment with you! Here are some photos from the night for you to enjoy. Stay tuned for more…
Read MoreFatherhood at its Finest…
๐๐ข๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ต๐ด ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต…โฃ โฃโฃโฃ This dad helped his daughter land a difficult skateboard trick by guiding her, catching her as she fell, and championing her to keep trying after each jump! โฃโฃโฃ โฃโฃโฃ The seeds we plant in our children will eventually take root,…
Read More“Sticks and Stones”
Today is the day! Grab your tickets to the premiere of “Sticks and Stones” while you still can and we’ll see you at 7PM tonight https://www.eventbrite.com/…/sticks-stones-movie…
Read MoreMeet โVictorโ at the Premiere of ‘Sticks and Stones’
Grab your tickets and meet โVictorโ at the premiere of ‘Sticks and Stones’ TMRW at 6:30PM! https://www.eventbrite.com/…/sticks-stones-movie…
Read More“Parenthood is About Guiding the Next Generation and Forgiving the Last.”
โ๐๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ง๐๐ฑ๐ญ ๐ ๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ญ.โโฃ โฃ Parents, we have a very challenging, yet honorable job. On one hand, we are teaching and training our children to be the best version of themselves so they can live fulfilled and successful…
Read MoreThe Breakfast Club
Our CEO and Founder @MrJasonOWilson had the honor of being on the @breakfastclubam morning show to promote his new book, ๐๐๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ซ๐ฒ – ๐ช๐๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ช๐ข๐ง๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ช๐๐ซ ๐ช๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง. โฃ โฃ We’d love your continued support as we strive to reach men who have the…
Read MoreAntibullying Film, โSticks and Stonesโ
The effects of bullying are too long of a list to write. Itโs why we decided to capture it in our #antibullying film, โSticks and Stonesโ premiering on Oct 16th! Tickets are limited https://www.eventbrite.com/…/sticks-stones-movie… so get yours and join us as we do our part…
Read MoreHey Parents! Did you Know…?
Hey parents! Did you know…? โฃ ๐๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฃ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ญ๐ญ๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ช๐ด ๐ด๐ข๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด. โฃ โฃ This includes:โฃ Teasingโฃ Name-callingโฃ Inappropriate sexual commentsโฃ Tauntingโฃ Threatening to cause harmโฃ โฃ This type of bullying can occur during or after school hours. While most reported bullying happens…
Read MoreRed Carpet Premiere, Sticks and Stones
Grab your tickets to the red carpet premiere of โSticks and Stonesโ before theyโre gone! Weโll see you there https://www.eventbrite.com/…/sticks-stones-movie…
Read MoreA Reminder that โBoys Do Cryโ
Parents, and especially fathers, this is just a reminder that โBoys Do Cryโ. We want to thank @piffmarti for making this song and for highlighting our CEO and Founder @mrjasonwilson at the end. This topic is covered thoroughly in Jason Wilsonโs books โBattle Cry –…
Read MoreIn Diversity there is Beauty and there is Strenght
Continuing the conversation today on bullying in honor of #bullyingpreventionmonth. We are going more in-depth about kids who are perceived as different and how they are at an increased risk of being bullied. As parents, it is our job to teach our children that there…
Read MoreSticks and Stones – Premiere
Get your popcorn! Weโve teamed up with Timashion Visionaire Jones to bring you โSticks and Stonesโ, a film that exposes bullying in its many forms Get your tickets below and join us for the premiere on October 16th at the Ford Community & Performing Arts…
Read MoreBlog Categories
SEARCH THIS BLOG: