The Lack of Sexual Self Control
Now Davidโs son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her. Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill.
– 2 Samuel 13:1-2
Many of us men have become so obsessed with the “freedom” of being promiscuous, that we willingly allow our evil desires to birth desperate actions in order to acquire โthe loveโ of a woman we cannotย have. As a result, like Amnon, we eventually become mentally and spiritually ill. And as you’ll read, when our deceptive charm failsย to get what we desire, we use demonstrative force and turn our sisters into victims.
Since Amnon was stronger than Tamar, he raped her.ย Then suddenly Amnonโs love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved herโฆ He shouted for his servant and demanded, โThrow this woman out, and lockingย the door behind her!โ – 2 Samuel 13:15-16
Sounds familiar? Well unfortunately it is. In 1995, theย number one killer of African-American females, ages 15 to 34, was homicide at the hands of an intimate partner or ex-partner.* African-American womenย comprise 8% of the U.S. population, but account for 20% of the intimate partner homicide victims.* Every 2 minutes, a womanย in the U.S. is sexually assaulted, and 1 in 4 women willย experience sexual assault or rape during her time at college. The survivors of sexual assault are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, 6ย times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, 26 times more likely to abuse drugs, and 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide. When we couple the previously mentioned with the fact that in 2002,ย 72% of black children were raised in a single parent household*, we should all agree that the lack of sexual self control needs to be seriously addressed if our families and communities are to thrive! Lastly I’d like to point out that after Amnon raped Tamar, it is written that his love for her “suddenly turned to hate.” This confirms that Amnon never loved Tamar, but instead deeply desired her as an object for sex. This is called sexual objectification. We also see the spirit of misogyny in Amnon when he refers to Tamar as “this woman” when he had his servant throw her out. Amnon’s last action of “locking the door” behind Tamar is still happening today in the black community. Males are allowed to dismiss their evil actions and walk away from accountability (sexual assault) and responsibility (fathering a child). We especially see this evil thrive in sports entertainment.
Tamar was wearing a long, beautiful robe, as was the custom in those days for the kingโs virgin daughters. But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying. – 2 Samuel 13:15-17
Tamar tearing her clothes represented mourning and loss. The ashes on Tamarโs head was an outward sign of internal sorrow and distress. Lastly, Tamar laying her face in her hands and crying, represented shame. Sound familiar? As a whole, we, the โleaders of the village”, have subconsciously thrown our sisters out and locked the door behind them, and our children. Because we wonโt open the door, single mothers will continue to experience the loss of a son from gang violence. Because we wonโt open the door, single mothers will have to endure the sorrow of seeing children long for their absent father. Because we wonโt open the door, our single sisters will continue to walk away in shame crying from being shamedย by us.
Itโs unequivocally hypocritical to practice aย promiscuous lifestyle and be โpro blackโ. My brothers, mentors and leaders; how can we build what we desperately need (a strong black community), when we as a whole are not actively confronting the lack of sexual self control in our boys and men? It truly bafflesย me that promiscuityย is a topic rarely discussed at a youth/men’s retreat or conference. If we continue to ignore thisย evil behavior, and not openly exposeย the elephant in the room, our children will never see the black man as a protector, but a Lothario, in and out of their motherโs legs and life. My brothers, our unified presence is long overdue. However, before we can “open the door” that leads to the restoration of our homes and communities, we must first humble ourselves, repent for the evil we that have done and allowed, and pray for forgiveness.ย Then when we open the door, we must turn from the evil ways that caused us to shut the door on our sisters in the first place. Then, through the healing of the LORD, our communities will be restored (2 Chronicles 7:14).
Shalom Aleichem,
Jason Wilson
Founder/CEO
The Cave of Adullam Transformational Training Academy
* Bureau of Health Statistics, 1995; Sullivan and Rumptz, 1995
* The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development
*ย U.S Department of Justice: Bureau of Justice Statistics.
โSticks and Stonesโ
In light of Bullying Prevention month weโre so excited to announce โSticks and Stonesโ, a film we produced with TBOP Media to shed light on the long-standing, prevalent issue called BULLYING Join us for the premiere on October 16th at the Ford Community & Performing…
Read MoreThe Heart of the Matter
2 weeks ago we had our annual staff retreat! Our theme this year was โ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ.โ We wanted our staff to focus on taking care of themselves so that they can feel good, but also so they can be effective in caring…
Read MoreHey, Parents! Did you know?
Hey parents! Did you know… โฃ โฃ Nearly 33% of children are obese and malnourished. This increases lack of energy, lower academic performance, poor concentration, memory loss, and can even lower life expectancy!โฃ โฃ Diet plays a HUGE role in children physically, mentally, and emotionally.…
Read MoreKristen on Board at The Yunion Leading Our Youth Advisory Design Team!
We are so excited to have Kristen on board at The Yunion leading our Youth Advisory Design Team (YADT)! Read below to find out what she is all about! โฃโฃ โฃโฃ โ๐๐บ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐๐ณ๐ช๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ญ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ฆ๐น๐ค๐ช๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ถ๐ฏ๐ช๐ต๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ…
Read MoreThe Way We Talk To Our Children Becomes Their Inner Voice
What our children think of themselves is significantly influenced by how they think we as their parents view them. โฃ โฃ Your voice, whether gentle and kind, empathic and warm, or strident and harsh, becomes a big part of their inner voice. โฃ โฃ They…
Read MoreThe Heart of the Matter
Our Annual Staff Retreat last weekend was EPIC! โฃโฃ โฃโฃ Our theme this year was โ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ.โ Which is so relevant to our cause – healing and caring for our hearts so that we can care for the hearts of the youth…
Read MoreA Friday Yunion Parent Check-in
Friday Yunion Parent Check-in
Read More5 Tips to Help your Teen Deal with Anxiety
Parents! As we are now a few weeks into the school year, have you noticed your young one still suffering from anxiety? Whether itโs social anxiety or nerves about being back in school during the pandemic, we understand the struggle! โฃโฃโฃ โฃโฃโฃ ๐ช๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ…
Read MoreA Word from our CEO and Founder
A word from our CEO and Founder @mrjasonowilson “Yesterday, Battle Cry reached #289 out of over 3.4 million books on Amazon, and ranked #1 in three categories! This blessed me to see because I emptied my cup writing Battle Cry so that men would finally…
Read MoreBattle Cry
Today weโre excited to share the news that our CEO and Founder @mrjasonwilsonโs book, ๐๐๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ซ๐ฒ, has finally released! โฃโฃ โฃโฃ We are praying that the majority of our followers are also supporters, and will buy a copy for themselves or for a man who…
Read MoreThe Youth Advisory Design Team
๐๐๐๐ญ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก ๐๐๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐จ๐ซ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐ ๐ง ๐๐๐๐ฆ (๐๐๐๐).โฃโฃ โฃโฃ The YADT is a youth-led program model that includes 10 high school and college aged students. These students, represent current and past program participants, and are a part of a 12-week paid internship program that will help…
Read MoreA Self-Confidence of a Child
Parents, did you knowโฆโฃ โฃ Children who spend quality time with their loved ones have higher self-confidence.โฃ โฃ In fact, when you spend quality time with your child, you communicate how much they mean to you. โฃ โฃ Doing things with your child can help…
Read MoreThe Nurturing Parent
Fathers are rarely viewed as the nurturing parent, if at all. Men have always been nurturers, but sadly, most of us only feel safe allowing that expression of love to be displayed through protection and provision. Thank you @edsonbarbozajr for showing us what a comprehensive…
Read MoreThe Yunion is Hiring!
๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐! โฃ โฃโฃ We are looking for skilled and dedicated people to join our team! If you find yourself being drawn to helping young people, and are passionate about impacting the next generation, then this is for ๐ ๐๐! โฃโฃ โฃโฃ A Life…
Read More“There is no Such Thing as a Perfect Parent. So Just be a Real One.”โฃ
“๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ด ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ง๐ฆ๐ค๐ต ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต. ๐๐ฐ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ.”โฃ โฃ Parents, you don’t have to be perfect. Your child just needs you to be honest and authentic. As parents, it’s ok to give ourselves the green light to make…
Read More5 Tips to Help You Communicate With Your Teen
Parents, here are 5 tips to help you communicate with your teen:โฃ โฃ โฃโฃ ๐๐๐ค๐ ๐๐ข๐ฆ๐ – Make time during the day or evening to hear about your teen’s day and activities; be sure that he or she knows you are actively interested and listening…
Read MoreBlog Categories
SEARCH THIS BLOG: